To Start Anew
by Taiyoukai-Nile
Summary: Two hundred years and the Shikon Miko named Kagome seeks to end herself. The only thing she knows is that in the end, her fate is in the hands of Sesshoumaru. *Disclaimer - I do not own InuYasha. Copyright goes to Takahashi Rumiko.*
1. Chapter 1

"Miko-sama, you have been such a blessing to this village," the headmaster said.

"It is nothing. Merely my duty," Kagome replied offhandedly.

"Most of our younger priestess have retired and then settled down. You have not. What are your plans?" he asked.

"Hiroshi-sama, I am the Shikon no Miko. Since the defeat of Naraku, who once plagued the entire country, including your own village, I have become one with the jewel. My duty is to the people as ordained by kami," she answered, her voice monotone.

"I understand that, Miko-sama, however you are sad and it is disturbing. I will divulge that the young men in the village have inquired about you. They wish for your hand in marriage," Hiroshi explained, running a hand through his gray hair.

"I am flattered, but I am not interested. I am immortal. It has been over two hundred years and I have not aged one day. It would do no good to pair with one who still has ties with time. Please be sure to divert all interested from me. There are maidens in the village who will satisfy their needs to settle down and have a family," she said.

"Very well, my lady," the village leader bowed, and then left her hut.

Kagome sighed and returned to stirring her stew. It was a stew she learned from Kaede in the past and it brought back memories at times.

*** FLASHBACK ***

_  
She was at a loss for words. She was kneeling on the ground, covered in blood and pieces of organs from both ningen and youkai. Around her for what seemed miles were bodies; whole, or parts of, but nevertheless, they were there. All she could do was stare. The bodies closer to her were familiar, but right now, her brain simply could not produce a valid thought. Though the outcome was technically a victory considering she was holding the whole Shikon no Tama, so much more had been lost than even she had imagined. It seemed her brain had frozen like a computer screen on an older processor, so she blinked and it seemed that her coherency rebooted. Slowly, but nevertheless, everything became more vivid, and… more morbid._

"I smell Naraku and he is coming in fast. He brought his damn horde of demons too," Inu Yasha growled. "Pay attention everyone!"

Over the nearby mountain, the sky darkened and spread as it approached the Inu- tachi. Sango readied her Haraikotsu and put her game face on. Kagome reached for an arrow and nocked it in her bow, ready to fire it. Inu Yasha drew out Tetsusaiga, transforming the blade into its behemoth form. Miroku clenched his staff, eager to battle Naraku.

Each had their hopes. They all wanted Naraku's reign of terror to end.

Kagome could feel the strong pull of the larger portion of the Shikon no Tama approaching and concentrated on calling it. Kaede had been helping her practice on trying to call the shards. It had worked some, and even helped her retrieve ones that Naraku had gifted to youkai in order to detroy the group of shard hunters.

"Ku ku ku, well, a perfect day to get rid of my foe and complete the jewel," Naraku's silky voice echoed over the group.

"Fucking bastard! You'll be the one dying!" Inu Yasha yelled.

He was visibly eager to dash into the fight, but keeping himself back. Inu Yasha could not afford to act so rashly as he had in the past. Too many clashes with Naraku and his incarnations had taught him to have a little bit of patience. Though Naraku no longer had many of his stronger incarnations, the makeshift hanyou had a vast collection of demons writhing inside his body waiting to get out and destroy anything at his command.

The air was tainted with miasma, but not as thick as the Inu- tachi had faced in the past.

'It stings the eyes and made the throat a tad dry,' Kagome thought as she looked out onto the area that she anticipated would be the final battle.

The miasma made the naturally pleasant day hazy, even disturbing the clouds to becoming an angry dark grey, bordering a stormy grey colour usually associated by harsh weather.

Only inches from her, a clawed hand loosely gripped a rusty katana. She knew that katana by heart, as she had been the first to wield it since its original master.

'Tetsusaiga.'

A few more feet away laid Inu Yasha's torso. It was half clothed. It seemed that the gaudy red fire rat haori had given up its regenerative features with its master's passing. Kagome could see that both his legs were torn from the hip and she did not know whether to vomit or to kill herself. His head had been taken clear off from the base of the neck. She was in a state of numbness, unable to decide, but able to take in the horrid scene.

When she turned her head, she came face to face with Inu Yasha's glazed over eyes, signaling that he was beyond anyone's reach, even the possibility of Sesshoumaru piecing him together and using Tenseiga. He had used it on an otter demon before, but Kagome was certain he would be adamant against reviving his own half brother.

'And Inu Yasha wouldn't have wanted to be revived. He wanted to die with honor.'

Kagome sobbed, looking at Inu Yasha's dead face. His glazed over amber eyes still in a set for determination as if he were still protecting her. She gathered his head to her bosom, unable to become nauseous because his blood oozed over her arms. She rocked to and fro, as if consoling the dead inu hanyou's head.

"I'm so sorry, Inu Yasha. I'm so sorry," she said and kept repeating as the tears poured over her cheeks and onto his head.

She did not even know she was crying. She barely even registered that she was holding Inu Yasha's head. She felt as if she was having an outer body experience.

As she kept rocking, she looked for her other companions. They were not any farther away than Inu Yasha had been. They had always been so protective of her, knowing that her only defense was the bow, arrows, and her holy powers.

'Pathetic old me. Always needing protection. A burden, yet a tool for a means to an end. Yes, that is what I am.'

She had built a wall of denial thinking that she had contributed fairly to the group, but when she really thought about it, all she did was maintain the camp each evening and point out the shards.

Sango's face had been clearly scraped off by something and Kagome did not want to guess. The veins and muscles were clearly visible as well all her bulbous mahogany colored eyes.

'She had been so brave like a real life Super girl.'

Miroku was nowhere to be seen, but there was a visible crater nearby. Naraku had always had the trump card when it came to the wind tunnel, and he had pulled it, slapped it down on the battlefield, and then let Miroku suck himself into an infinite abysmal void.

Shippou also was nowhere to be seen. She had insisted that he stay back in Edo, but Shippou has hidden himself in her knapsack and appeared when they were encroached upon by Naraku and his demon horde.

'Probably devoured by some lowly oni. I am such a screw up. I can't even be a proper mother to an orphaned kitsune.'

She picked up Tetsusaiga and carried Inu Yasha's head in her arms. She could not find disgust in holding his severed head. With the rusty katana, she tried to dig a hole, but was unsuccessful. The ground was hard and a bit on the dry side. Plus, she was weak from exhaustion.

'I can't do anything right.'

She slumped to the ground once more. This time, the tears finally made their way to her eyes and in a torrent, rushed over her tanned cheeks.

'We worked so hard. How could they have all died like this? Even in death, they would have deserved something better. I thought my own father's death hurt me deeply, but this surpasses that many times over. How can it hurt so much? They gave their life for this jewel and to protect me, but I don't deserve it.'

She was exhausted and fell forward from her sitting position.

'So tired. So very very tired.'

As she closed her eyes, she noticed a shadow over her. She willed her sleep away, but could not bring her spiritual senses to determine who it was. She rolled over, albeit with difficulty.

Above her stood the pristine demon lord himself, Sesshoumaru. He was looking down at her without expression. Kagome could not determine whether he was disgusted with her and at that moment, too exhausted to even care.

"Onna, you will explain what happened," Sesshoumaru demanded.

He did know that the miko was exhausted and possibly hanging by a thread of sanity. He could see his half brother's head in her arms, as well as the Tetsusaiga. He could also smell death heavily not far away, including her companions. It was disturbing to see her lying like this on the ground. He did though have something that she would possibly be happy about, but he would not give it to her until she told him.

"Naraku is dead. At the cost of my companions and many of our friends and allies, that evil man is no more. If you want Tetsusaiga, you can have it. I know you and Inu Yasha were never close, but it should stay with family," she said, trying to stay awake, though her vision was blurry and filled with dark spots.

"Hn. Very well. You have the thanks of this Sesshoumaru for ridding the lands of Nippon from that vile hanyou. My little brother has gained honor and I will retrieve his body to bury it. For your companions, I will send servants to bury them with honor and hire a priest to bless their burial grounds. As for Tetsusaiga, keep it. This Sesshoumaru does not want for it. Lastly, here is something I found that belongs to you. He is roughed up, but he will heal fine," the tall demon lord said, then handed her something she thought had been devoured.

'Shippou! He's alive! Yokatta!'

"I owe you a lot, my lord," Kagome smiled, bringing Shippou close to her body.

The smile did not reach her eyes, yet her soul was awash with the fact that her little boy was alive. Her eyes though sad, were somewhat blank and it disturbed him. He had seen many battles, but he knew the priestess far more to not consider her a stranger anymore to himself.

She had not expected the stoic demon lord to share so many meaningful words with her. She thought he did not have a compassionate bone in his demonic body, but yet again, the enigmatic lord surprised her. She smiled and let her sleep overtake her, confident that Sesshoumaru would at least make sure she and the Shikon no Tama was safe.

Sesshoumaru noticed as soon as she had secured the kitsune to her side that she had given into her exhaustion.

'Very well, I will send someone to come get her and heal her. It is I who owe her.'

He noticed that in one of the hands clutching Shippou that the cursed jewel was glowing brightly. He was not sure what to do, whether to step closer and pry her hand open or to leave her be. He decided it was best that he leave her be as the jewel had never been an ambition he had ever considered to pursue obtaining.

Kagome whispered, "Arigatou."  


**END FLASHBACK ***

'Sesshoumaru had brought us to the nearest village and the local priestess healed both Shippou and I. When we both recovered, Sesshoumaru said he would leave. However, before he could, Shippou begged him to train him to be a warrior. Although I wanted to keep Shippou with me, I knew that keeping him would not make him happy. He wanted to become a strong and honorable demon, so I let him go. That is when the jewel had become one with me. I had also not seen Shippou since that day. It still hurts that I have nothing familiar in my life. The well is closed and this life, even though I have become use to it, still seems so strange. It is like some lucid dream that I would wake up and be in my pink sheets and Buyo would be on top of me. Alas, it is not that way. Heh, I am even starting to sound like the villagers with my manner of speech.'

She sighed and ventured to her hut.

'It is time to leave again. I have stayed here far longer than the other villages and need to be on my way to my goal.'

Her eyes dulled again from the pain. It washed over and through her like a torrent of rain in a monsoon. Sometimes she rebelled against it, and sometimes she welcomed it. She left the village without a word and headed south. After a while, she hit rugged terrain trudging up the steep incline of the mountains practically splitting the island Honshu in half. She was traveling from Sendai. Her destination was Kyoto. She traveled because she had one goal: to die.

She was tired of living. It had been two hundred years since the defeat of Naraku. It had been two hundred years since the well had been destroyed. It had been two hundred years since her friends had perished in the battle against the vile hanyou. It had been two hundred years since the jewel fused with her. It had been two hundred years since she last seen her little Shippou.

The jewel had been a nuisance. She could not die. The legendary artifact made her impervious to anything, including herself. For the first few years after the fusing, she had tried to kill herself each night. And each morning, the very blood that fell to the ground or even into a hot spring, somehow her body sucked it back up. She gave up, and just journeyed, finding a way to try to cope with each passing moment. She had tried all sorts of creative ways to commit suicide, from traditionally hanging herself to even throwing herself from a cliff.

Eventually she forgot how to smile. Eventually she forgot how to be happy. Every day was monotonous, her body merely robotic in its actions. She traveled, she healed the sick and injured, and she fought mindless youkai. She forgot herself, becoming the husk of Kagome, and enveloping herself with the façade known as the Shikon no Miko.

Every time she looked into a copper plated mirror or even a stream, she saw her predecessor, Kikyo. The only thing different was her greyish- blue eyes and the voluminously wavy and luscious blue- black locks. A gaunt and haunted woman always stared back at her, more so, a woman without expression. Although she was energetic, Kagome could feel in her soul her tiredness. It was like she knew she was in her body, but her mind was so numb that it felt outside and a few feet away. Or when she felt morbidly humorous, she compared it with taking NyQuil and trying to operate soberly through the day.

Near Sendai, she had found a sorceress who had told her how she could find her end. Although the solution was gruesome, Kagome did not care. She had been a mortal that was not intended for immortality. The jewel had extended her life and given her powers that she had never wanted.

The sorceress had told her to seek the Western Lord and he had the solution to all of her problems. The Western Lord was still Sesshoumaru. Although Kagome had not seen him in a couple decades, she was on fair terms with the enigmatic demon lord. However, she was not exactly keen to the idea of visiting the demon lord. She wondered if his dokkasou would be the solution to her problem. She almost smiled at the thought. She had been up close to his fearsome poison and even been covered in it at one time. However, she had the Tetsusaiga's barrier protecting her from Sesshoumaru's attack. She wondered if the Shikon would let him kill her.

As she journeyed, she mulled the thought over and over, deliberating until her head was throbbing. It was the only thing she thought about and she knew that at one time in her life, it would have been a scary thought. However, she was past all flowery emotions. She almost grinned madly at the thought of her own demise. She did not believe a mortal was ever made to be immortal. It was a cruel and singular life to live. She had tried to make some friendly ties in her early years, but after the anguish of seeing them grow old and die, it took a toll, adding to the numbness.

Although she could not remember exactly where she saw or read it, she compared her existence to a god who saw the ugliness in humanity. Instead of seeing a beautiful mortal child, she imagined it was a walking rotting corpse. She had nightmares in the past when she had come to that comparison and had even gotten sick repeatedly, as it felt too true.

She wondered if youkai felt the way she did about mortals. She wondered if that was true, then how did some of those youkai bridge the gap and couple with mortals without becoming disgusted. She wondered if hanyou felt that way, or perhaps because they were half of each, they were oblivious. She wondered if the world seemed to fade away, nothing enjoyable.

Kagome considered herself the oldest virgin alive. It did not bother her, but it was one of the most humorous things she convinced herself of when things got boring. She knew she was not undesirable, as she closely resembled Kikyo. She had heard for the past couple centuries of how she was beautiful. However, their words did not give her a thrill. She really had never been vain. She had been proposed to more than a couple dozen times, turning each one down. She did not turn the men down cruelly. She did it with careful words to make each understand her plight. She even had gotten Kouga to stop hounding her to become his mate. He had finally mated Ayame as he had promised, although he had been reluctant. He had been the most difficult suitor to get off her back. It was mostly because they shared a deep past, and Kouga could only see her as a powerful woman to further along his pack. It had actually taken four decades to get him to stop pursuing her. She had questioned him to think deeply on why she had refused him all these years. Finally, Kouga had grown serious and admitted that he knew that she had no romantic feelings for her, but had hoped that his perseverance would eventually win her over. When he stated that he would stop, he also wished her the best, even reinforcing the fact that she was a sister of his pack.

Kagome had not seen or visited Kouga's den in seventy years. She had already become reclusive by then and it was hard to see friendly faces, reminding her of all the other friends she had lost.


	2. Chapter 2

Sesshoumaru did not want to pity the woman before him. He wanted to beat the life back into her. When she came to him a few days ago, she was hell bent on speaking with him right away. She had looked extremely exhausted. He found out the answer when she told him how she had journeyed from Sendai to get to his home, and needed to speak to him immediately. Instead, he made her follow a servant to a room so she could become more comfortable. At his dismissal, she grew angry and insisted an audience, but he could not offer her any time other than greeting her. He had ended up growling at the infuriating woman that she had been lucky she had even been greeted, as he had a busy schedule.

He put off meeting with her for several days after she kept hounding Jaken and several servants to pass messages to him explaining that she needed to speak with him urgently. And now that he had granted her audience in his study, he wanted to tear his ears off. He regretted granting her audience, but did not want anyone to become purified, including himself. She was powerful enough to hurt him, but not sure how badly. He had guards posted within the study, which was the first time in many centuries since his rise to the position of Lord of the Western Domain. She had explained to him that she wanted to die, but could not because the Shikon no Tama prevented her death. She tried killing herself with no success, not even a scratch as proof of her attempts. She then said that before she had left, she had consorted with a seer who directed her to see him. Apparently he had the solution to all of her problems.

"So, how are we going to do this? Are you going to melt me or can any of your swords kill me without the worry of the jewel preventing my death?" Kagome asked, looking at him with hopeful eyes.

"Onna, have you gone mad? No, this Sesshoumaru must re-phrase that question into a statement. Onna, you are insane!" he stated, feeling his claws draw blood in his clenched fists.

"Perhaps so, but I want it to end. I am tired of this meaningless existence. I have lost everything; yet have gained immortality like it was some prize. How is that an incentive?" she replied.

"You who have been selfless are now selfish. I cannot kill you. Death is a solution that cannot be as you have said that you have tried many ways. My dokkasou would be painful, but you would not die. You would melt, but after the poisons wear out, your body will painfully put itself together. None of my swords would do anything except possibly send you alive and into hell. If you hang so fervently to the seer's advice, then my solution is that you live. Your existence is no different any more than that of a demon. This Sesshoumaru has lived well over a thousand years to know how it is to feel things you are feeling. That is life. Where is the woman long ago that was so loud and brave? You will fix yourself, onna. You are confined to the estate until you are mentally well," he commanded.

"No, you cannot do this to me, Sesshoumaru!" Kagome cried out. "I want to die now!"

Sesshoumaru growled and crossed the table so fast that the depressed miko squealed when he lifted her by her throat.

"You will one day regret saying that by the time I am done with you, onna. For now, you will become my servant. You will learn to appreciate life whether you like it or not," he stated. "Guards, come in and escort this onna to the servant quarters. Have Jaken go and inform them that they are to instruct her on all of the jobs expected. She will be here a long time."

The guards complied, taking a kicking and screaming miko into the halls. He sat down on his cushion and ran a hand over his face in frustration.

'Little brother, your woman is the most frustrating being I have met,' he thought with a heavy sigh.

He still on occasion missed his scuffles with InuYasha. In the last few years before InuYasha's death, he enjoyed listening to his half-brother's lude comments. It had been refreshing to see someone defy him so passionately. He knew it had been his fault as he instigated most of the fights, but he had been angry that InuYasha had let himself get incapacitated by a priestess during a vital time to make sure the Western Domain stayed within the dog demon clans. Sometimes he regretted being so harsh in their skirmishes. He could understand why the woman Kagome was feeling so lost that she wanted to die. Shippou had revealed to him all of her background. She had been from a totally different era and now she was locked in the past with no familiar faces, not even the comrades she had been with throughout the search for the jewel shards.

He had felt the same way when his father died in the battle with Takemaru no Setsuna. He had grown up to learn everything it took to be Lord of the Western lands. His father and mother were harsh. Eventually his mother left when his father started taking in concubines, especially humans. She was the reason why he had become cold to the ningen race, but the mating between the human princess Izayoi had been the icing to convince him that the creatures were not worth his time.

Another time he felt greatly depressed, was when Rin had passed. He had grown attached with Rin on a fatherly level. She was something fresh in his path to conquest. She had opened his heart to the fact that some ningen could be worth his time. However, when Rin grew to be of the age to mate, she had decided that she was in love with him, but he did not feel the same. When he had expressed that he thought of her as a daughter, she had ran away. He gave her a few days to calm down, but she never returned. He went to find her and found that she had found a human village to settle. She had told him that she understood his choice, and decided that she had to let him go.

Through her life, he visited and enjoyed being a grandfather to four children. When she had died, he buried her right next to InuYasha's grave. He mourned for almost a decade, becoming cold, but happened upon Kagome, the only other human he had felt was worth his time. She had not yet been insane as she was now, but he had noticed the telltale signs of her depression. He saw how hard it had been for her to go on after all of the losses she experienced and how trying to accept her immortality was hard. Kagome had been the one to sooth his heart and allow him to return to his citadel knowing that Rin have lived a good life and he should be happy that she is resting peacefully. Kagome had even joked offhandedly that perhaps he would see Rin's reincarnation one day in the future.

However, he was at a dilemma. How was he to fix a couple centuries worth of pain with the priestess? She had lived a lonely life and wallowed in her sadness for so long that it was like a bad habit. No one had been there to help her cope with that and usher her into embracing her immortality. He was sure the seer she spoke of was not expecting that his solution to her problem was to kill her.

'Seers are quite vague when giving out their reading. However, the miko took it to mean that it would be her death because she wishes it. She will be greatly disappointed. I just hope I do not have any purified servants lying in dust piles around my estate,' he hoped.

As for Kagome, she was infuriated. She was sure that Sesshoumaru would grant her desire to die, but he surprised her by telling her that she would be a servant.

'That damn dog!' she screamed in her mind as she currently sad on a simple futon, in a small room in the area for servants. She did not want to work for him.

'I just want to die,' she cried pitifully to herself, becoming oblivious to her surroundings.

"Get up you wretch!" Jaken cried out, and hit her upside the head with the Staff of Two Heads.

Kagome startled out of her depressing thoughts and growled at the kappa youkai.

"What?" she said, glaring at him.

"Follow me. You are to start learning your duties around Lord Sesshoumaru's court. For now, you will clean the floors. They must be perfect. Dignitaries come from all over Japan to see my lord. If you do not do a good job, you will be punish, which is nothing less than what happens to any servant who fails to do their job," he warned, leading her into the welcoming room. "You will start here and then choose one corridor at a time. Do not trackback or you will mess up your work."

Kagome looked around and her eyes bulged.

'This is a lot of floor!' she thought.

"This will take more than a day, you dumb toad!" she said.

"Then you better get to work," Jaken replied and scuttled away.

Kagome almost screamed, but she did not want Sesshoumaru coming in and gripping her by the neck like he had earlier. She grumbled and sat by a bucket of water, and a couple pieces cloth.

'Where is a fucking broom when you need one?' she wondered as she took the first cloth and used that to sweep most of the particles to one part of the room.

She could only be on all fours while doing such a chore and the main area was large enough. She cringed at what other areas she had to clean. All of the floors were carefully done in a treated wood, speaking greatly of Lord Sesshoumaru's wealth. She cursed him under his breath as the time passed slowly for her.

Some time later, Kagome's stomach grumbled back at her and she frowned.

'How long has it been since I last ate?' she wondered as she was finally able to hand mop the floor.

Sesshoumaru watched briefly from the shadows, smirking as he heard an occasion grumble become audible enough for him to decipher.

'At least she is not depress,' he thought.

"Jaken, get her some food and be quick about it. My servants might face punishment if a job is not done correctly, but they are not starved," he commanded quietly, and left without alerting the priestess of his visit.


	3. Chapter 3

"What the hell is wrong with you, Sesshoumaru?" Shippou yelled.

Sesshoumaru closed his eyes for a moment and counted backwards from ten before responding. The kitsune was the only other one besides his half brother and the priestess now under his roof. He looked at the red-haired demon before him and tried to glare him away.

"That will not work! I want answers!" Shippou demanded.

"Very well, kitsune. Be grateful I have taken your adopted mother from the meaningless existence she has decided to wallow in," he replied, but had a feeling his brevity was not acceptable.

"You bastard! She is the Shikon no Miko. She deserves better treatment than this!" Shippou growled in frustration.

He had just gotten back from a two-month patrol to find Kagome scrubbing the floors. He was shocked enough to see her again. It had been several centuries since he last saw her. Sometimes he felt bad that he had not visited her, but kitsune had wild hormones through their maturity and he wanted to be somewhere that he could mature well enough to return to protect her. Kagome had seen him when he had arrived, as he was not hard to miss with the two guards that accompanied him. However, it crushed him to see her not recognized him. The thought of her cleaning the floor with swollen hands and wearing raggedly clothing had looked wrong to him.

'She looked so sad,' he thought to himself.

"You will sit and listen, Shippou. Though I have made you my heir, you will speak to me respectfully. Your mother, that sad little woman out there, came to the citadel a month ago to ask me to end her life. She explained to me that a seer had told her that this Sesshoumaru had the answers to her problems. Your mother is not a mortal. She is an immortal with powers that rival some of the gods. She should be accepting her fate with grace instead of being in misery," Sesshoumaru explained, feeling a headache come on.

He despised explaining himself and since Kagome's arrival, he was finding that he had to explain a lot.

"But why a servant? Her hands are swollen, and her clothing is in shambles," Shippou protested. "She deserves better."

"She will get better treatment when she has stopped her inane fantasies about dying. If it soothes your bleeding heart for your mother, then you may clothe her and she may visit with you when it is most convenient. However, she is not to shirk from her duties. As long as she keeps busy, she is not totally focused on dying," Sesshoumaru replied. "Come, let us reintroduce you to her. It has been many years and I am sure she will love to see you again. I understand your choice, but you will have to help in getting her to accept her immortal life."

Shippou followed Sesshoumaru out into the corridor and to the servant quarters. Some of the servant girls giggled as Shippou passed, and he grinned toothily back at them until Sesshoumaru turned to glare.

"What? I cannot help it if the ladies like me," he said.

"Hn. I hear you had another bastard. You need to control yourself, kitsune," Sesshoumaru said dryly, reveling in how it shut up the rash red-hair demon very quickly.

Shippou scratched the back of his head nervously. Sesshoumaru knew how to deflate him in front of the women. When they arrived, Sesshoumaru slid open the fusama to Kagome's small room. She was huddled in the corner asleep. Shippou frowned, seeing that her face and clothes were also dirty. She also stunk! He knew her to fastidious and looked to Sesshoumaru.

"Why has she not bathed? Even the servants have better clothes and bathe," Shippou growled.

"I have been too busy to keep up with her whereabouts. However, I believe Jaken will be able to tell us why he did not educate her on where she can go to get clothing and a bath," he said, a bit angry to find that his most trusted vassal was treating the Shikon priestess like she was a slave.

"You will retrieve Jaken while I take Kagome to the bathing quarters. Make sure to summon my female bathing attendants. She will be cleaned and dressed," Sesshoumaru commanded Shippou.

Shippou was more than glad and left to do Sesshoumaru's bidding. He could not wait to find Jaken and give him a piece of his mind. Just before he found Jaken, he informed Sesshoumaru's personal attendants that they were needed. When he did, the kappa youkai was so surprised that he wailed, "Unhand this Jaken!"

"Now, is that a way to talk to the heir of the Western Domain, you nasty toad!" Shippou said, and firmly gripped the small demon by his slimy throat. "Why is my mother is such a terrible state? She was only to do her duties, but not to be treated so poorly."

Jaken's eyes looked like they bulged as he stammered, "But milord was quite angry with the priestess! I thought he wanted her to suffer!"

"Bullshit, you goddamn toad! You wanted her to suffer. You have given her less than adequate meals, let her clothes go to shambles, and she has not bathed in a month," Shippou listed out everything. "I do not want to hear it. Perhaps your lord can beat some intelligence into that head."

The tall red-haired kitsune carried Jaken by the throat and threw him at Sesshoumaru.

"Take care of your idiot. I am going to see my mother. Make sure your attendants take very good care of her and have her placed in the room next to my quarters," Shippou growled out, and left to prepare his room for his mother.

Sesshoumaru almost growled at Shippou's lack of respect. However, with the situation at hand, he knew he would be confronting the kitsune. He smirked as he thought about how he would be sparring with Shippou later on. His thoughts landed on the kappa youkai trembling at his feet.

"How is it that you never cease to amaze this Sesshoumaru with your ignorance? You were given simple instructions, Jaken. Why did you not follow them?" he asked.

"But milord, I thought you hated the miko!" Jaken cried out.

"Your assumptions are ridiculous. The alliance made before the battle with Naraku made it so that all members of my half-brother's group were protected. You have deliberately harmed a loyal ally to the Western Domain," Sesshoumaru stated forcefully.

"I am sorry, Lord Sesshoumaru. Please forgive this Jaken," Jaken begged, prostrating him small body pitifully.

"You will take up the miko's duties and complete them. Until they are finished, you will not play any type of dignitary to any of my allies. You are to speak to no one, toad. You will learn to follow directions and not assume. As for your assumations, you will ask a question, no matter how redundant it may seem if you cannot understand what has been commanded. You are lucky that this Sesshoumaru is in a merciful mood," the demon lord said coldly, and then turned from Jaken.

The silver-haired inu youkai did not want to punish Jaken. He had been loyal for many centuries, but Sesshoumaru could not let Jaken's disregard for others go unpunished.

As for Kagome, she woke up groggily from a pleasant dream.

'The dream felt real. I finally got to bathe. The only part I did not like was the servants who bathed me,' she thought as she rubbed her eyes.

As she finished rubbing her eyes, she noticed several things. One, the room was bright. Two, she was sitting on something soft. Three, she smell some really good food near her. Lastly, she noticed she had soft clothes on, smelled really good, and her hair was damp.

"You are up, mama!" she heard a masculine voice, and lifted her hands away from her eyes to take a look at her surroundings.

"Mama?" she asked, and she looked at the handsome red-haired, green-eyed youkai.

By feel of his aura, she automatically knew he was a kitsune.

"I am sorry I have not visited you these past two centuries. Growing up for a kitsune is quite difficult," he replied as she still tried to decipher who he was.

He remained silent after his apology, grinning as he saw Kagome's face draw up in deep thought trying to figure out who he was. When she finally figure it out, he face seemed to light up.

"Shippou?" she half exclaimed, half asked.

"Of course it is, silly!" he chided and hugged her.

He sighed as he hugged the one being he missed in the entire world. He felt bad for leaving her by herself, but he was a growing kitsune who needed to learn how to survive as a youkai. He remembered the day he had left that she had accepted his decision. When he left, it had not been much time from when they had defeated Naraku. She had been in mourning and it was taking a toll on him as her grief had left her defenseless. He guarded her with his life, and barely did a good job. It was when Sesshoumaru had conveniently stopped by, that he had made his decision. He wanted to protect her and the Western Lord had the ability to teach him. When he had pitched his plea with Sesshoumaru, he was scared. However, the youkai lord quickly agreed to teach him, but he had to come to the Western Domain.

Kagome had been distraught at first when he had explained to her that he needed to learn to be a youkai and train so he could protect everything and everyone he cared for properly. She reluctantly let him go. He remembered the tears and the broken look on her face.

"I am so sorry, mama!" he choked out, trying not to cry as she sobbed into his silk attire. "Please forgive me."

Kagome yanked herself from him and replied passionately, "You need not ask forgiveness, Shippou. I accepted your decision. It was for the best. I am just happy that I am seeing you and holding you in my arms. I missed you so much. I wish I could have seen you grow up."

"It was quite difficult. Sesshoumaru trained me to be his heir. It prevented me from traipsing outside the Western Lands, so I could not look for you," he explained softly, and then changed his tone. "However I am concerned, mama. Sesshoumaru told me that you came here and asked him to kill you. Is that true?"

Kagome looked down, avoiding her adopted son's penetrating eyes.

"It has been hard. Life has become monotonous. I have not known a familiar face in years. I have not had a permanent home. Nothing has felt right in a long time. I do not know what to do and because of that, I did not think living was worth it," she replied quietly.

Shippou became angry on how defeated she looked.

'She needs to wake up and accept her life. Does not the death of InuYasha, Sango, and Miroku mean anything? Do I not mean anything?' he cried out in his mind.

Shippou grabbed her arms harshly and yelled, "Look at me, mama! Look at me! Was it not worth living to see me again? Am I so worthless that you would waste your life? Are InuYasha, Sango, and Miroku so worthless that you would die in vain? You are immortal, mama! You cannot die! Accept it and live knowing you can do things no other can do. You have not been cursed with some meaningless existence!"

"But you do not understand!" she railed against him, trying to escape, but it was no use.

"What do I not understand, mama? Make me understand!" he growled.

She went limp in his grip and sobbed so heartbrokenly. When she finally answered, her voice was so soft and wispy that he had to strain with his youkai ears.

"I was alone. I loved InuYasha with all my heart and he died. Not a damn day goes by that I see his lifeless eyes and feel as I could still feel his disembodied and bloodied head in my arms. I loved him so much and it was like my heart died that day. Then as I tried to comprehend the totality through my numb mind, it was like my mind and body refused to response. You know as well as I, in the end, it was my entire fault that they had died. I broke the jewel. I allowed each of you to journey with me when it was my sole responsibility to find the shards and assemble the jewel. They paid a price I should have," she replied brokenly.

"You are wrong! Accidents happen, mama!" he gathered her to his chest. "Even though they are all dead, they still loved you. You were like family to all of them. They made the choice to join you."

He then pushed her away, and rushed to the doorway. He slid it open and said with conviction, "You will remain here. You are not a servant any longer, mama. However, you will learn to live. By all kami, you will learn!"


End file.
